Soon, you will see the ads:
Are you a multibillionaire? Is life on earth forcing you to watch all those racist tea party people trying to stop that wonderful Federal Reserve getting you down? Do you long to get away from the floods, global warming, Sarah Palin, and SUV’S? Are those pesky nights talking to Ben Bernanke starting to all seem like a blur? Does seeing Dick Cheney on his book tour just make you want to get as far off the planet as possible? Well, we have the answer for you! No longer do you have to feel the daily pressure of being one of the only people on the planet who feels that there are JUST too many people on the earth. The answer is not in viruses, or floods— the answer is right before you. You need a vacation. For just $4 million dollars you can spiral out of this world. You might NEVER want to come down. Call us today at 1-800-Galatic
Nobody is more jealous than me. People with big bucks are going to soon get to orbit the earth. All they need is a ticket. Space is going to be the next real estate venture, because let’s face it, a very elite group of multi-billionaires have sucked what little money was left out of the planet and feel the need to go BEYOND building franchises in China. They need more space. And despite the millions of space junk floating around our planet now, the race to build space hotels is the plan of the future.
The news out today was that NASA is not so sure the Space Station is going to stay afloat if the Russians don’t get up there. (Wait, I thought they closed NASA?) I can’t wait to see Putin strapped into the rocket, with his shirt off, two blond Russian babes by his side, taking a trip to the Russian hotel in the sky. No doubt he will be strutting around in his space station, in boxer shorts…lifting weights.
They haven’t been talking about it much but, we have a NEW race to space: not to the Moon…not to Mars, but to a three-day luxury trip to a romantic little room in a Space Hotel. Places where the showers are tiny bubbles of water, and the champagne can be sipped with a straw. If you want to sit down, you can put on your Spiderman suit, and Velcro yourself to a front row seat to see Africa rising.
If I was up there, I’d make a bet to see who could spot Angelina’s Jolie’s lips first.
Russia is building a Space Hotel and so are we. So…Who is going to the first to put the billionaires up into their own little orbiting hotel room? Right now, there are many more millionaires on the planet than in then there EVER was. Several hundred of them have managed to grab even more wealth and what can you give a person who has 52 Ferrari’s sitting in their garage?
A room in space.
The Barcelona-based architects of The Galactic Suite Space Resort say it will cost 3 million euro ($4.4 million) for a three-night stay at the hotel, with this price including an eight-week training course on a tropical island.
British tycoon Richard Branson’s space tours firm, Virgin Galactic, will use his facility in New Mexico to propel tourists into suborbital space at a cost of $200,000 a ride.
The numbers are similar for Virgin Galactic with 300 people already paid or signed up for the trip but unlike Branson, Galactic Suite say they will use Russian rockets to transport their guests into space from a spaceport to be built on an island in the Caribbean.
Russia, is aiming to have their hotel ready by 2016. They will use the Space Station as a storage container, and fill it with caviar and enough Vodka to last years.
While most of us would LOVE to take the trip, it remains to be seen, which hotel will have the best deal. I’ll be waiting for the Space Station Motel Six.
So, space scientific exploration is out— hotels in space are in. McDonalds in space can’t be too far behind.
Oh, one more thing…if Obama wins the next election, you can be sure that we will never go to Mars. Why?
Adam Ismail, Mustafa Khalil , and Abdullah al-Umari, three men from Yemen, sued NASA for invading Mars. They claim that they “inherited the planet from our ancestors 3,000 years ago.” They based their argument on mythologies of the Himyaritic and Sabean civilizations that existed several thousand years B.C.
That solves it. Muslims are Martians, we should let them go home.
Someday, we will be seeing Paris Hilton on her new show “Space Hilton presents: Paris’s MTV Space Crib.” I wish I could say “I’ll be dead so I won’t care.” but…something tells me, I may not be that lucky. (Nobody Makes this stuff up, and call that number at your own risk!)