Nobody’s Perfect: Jesse Jackson Jr. VS the Meth Brothers

Nobody’s Perfect:

Jesse Jackson Jr. VS the Meth Brothers.

It’s not easy being green, or being the child of one of the most talented extortionist to ever walk in the halls of Congress, and Jesse Jackson Jr. in on the hot seat for not being a slick as his old man. He got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Jesse Jackson Jr.’s father says the ex-congressman is under “tight medical supervision” after being charged with misusing campaign funds.

“He is struggling with the highs and lows of his bipolar disorder,” Jackson Sr., the civil rights leader, told the Chicago Tribune in a statement.

The younger Jackson was formally charged Friday with misusing $750,000 in campaign funds. Federal documents show Jackson bought memorabilia that once belonged to Michael Jackson, Bruce Lee, Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. He is also charged with using the funds to buy children’s furniture and a gold-plated men’s Rolex watch.

It’s got to be depressing to know you just don’t have the same talent at stealing and hiding money as your old man. I’d be depressed too, if someone had found out that what I thought was Michael Jackson’s glove had really belonged to Al Jolson.

Jesse is facing jail time, but right now, I’m sure his father is advising him to shut up, and swear to be sick. “This is a storm; within time, storms pass over,” he said.

Leave it to Dad to come to the rescue.

And then we have two brothers, who won the lottery and had a blast spending the money…

Two brothers who were celebrating a $75,000 winning lottery ticket by purchasing marijuana and meth accidentally blew up their house on Friday, said Sgt. Bruce Watts of the Wichita Police Department.

The explosion sent one of the brothers – a 27-year-old – to the hospital, where he remains in serious but stable condition with second-degree burns on his hands, arms and chest.

The other brother was sent to jail, Watts said.

I’m not sure who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award this week, Jesse, or the two morons who blew up their house…but I’m sentimental. I think the two meth addicts had a disadvantage. They probably a fatherless childhood, unlike Jesse who HAD a dad, and all he had to do was watch the guy…and learn.

In the words of Bob Dylan, he was just “One too many mornings and a thousand miles behind.”

Jesse can only hope that he meets the two meth brothers someday in the same prison. Who knows WHAT they would do for a Rolex?

Potus Gold

Nobody Wins–

When foreigners make fun of our dope smoking ‘President.” The one thing that really bugged me when I was reading about Obama’s teenage years of dope smokin; was that Volkswagon Bus. It was THE stoner logo of the 1960′s…but Obama’s dope smoking Chom gang was way past that time. What? Was Hawaii in some kind of time warp?

If you saw anyone who had that Volkswagen van, you knew right away that Cheech and Chong were their favorite movies, and they pretty much had no teeth.

So, you have to ask yourself–how did Obama go from being a really big drug addict (remember, he also went on to the harder drugs like cocaine) to become President of the United States? Is it any wonder he thought the concentration camps in Poland were …Polish?

The Prostitutes of Columbia and the Devil’s Breathe.

Nobody Knows

Not many people know about this very popular drug used by the prostitutes and gang members in Columbia. It’s made from a flower and it’s called “Devil’s breathe.” It can be put in drinks, or just lightly brushed on by your nose, and while your remain awake, you also will do anything the person tells you. You will take people to your ATM and give them all your money. Some people, when asked to open their house and load all their possessions into a van, will do just that. The prostitutes in Columbia use it to steal from their clients.

And when they come down from the drug, they don’t remember a thing.

It’s more dangerous than cocaine, and it can kill you.

So, with this knowledge, it would have been oh so simple for some prostitute to slip some of this Devil’s breath, into on of Obama’s Secret Service’s drink, and he would have done anything that prostitute told him to. up to and including secrets of the President, even helping with an assassination.

There are a few video’s on YouTube on this drug, so it appears to be very real. Having seen that, it hard to imagine our Secret Service men having a party with prostitutes in Columbia of all places.

We haven’t heard much more about this have we?

Here’s hoping it doesn’t make its way onto the streets of America…I can’t imagine a more dangerous drug.

Drug Lord’s Have the Gold

Nobody Get Email

Some of my friends have a sense of humor. They like to send me pictures of how much I missed by not becoming a lucretive drug lord. Here’s the best of just one drug lord’s heaven.

The money and valuables found in this one house alone, would be enough to pay for health insurance for every man woman and child in the USA for 12 years!

It is estimated to be approximately 27 more of these houses in Mexico alone. Not to mention the ones in other countries who are enriching themselves in the drug trade. These people have so much money, they make the Arab oil sheiks look like welfare recipients. Their money can buy politicians, cops, judges, whatever they need they just throw down stacks of cash and it is theirs! (Thanks to Pattie)

 

Whitney Houston: WTF?

Nobody Remembers: Whitney Houston

Funny how this stuff happens…whenever there is a big political debate going on, or some fundamental change in our America, some Diva dies.  I’m not quite sure what was going on when Michael Jackson went to sleep, but it got Obama’s big fight (was it health care?) off the pages for a good two weeks.

Nobody is starting to see a pattern here.  

So, the diva Whitney overdoses in a bathtub RIGHT before the Grammy’s. Won’t that bring in millions of more viewers? Everyone will be tuning in: Looking for her partner in drugs, Bobbie Brown, to cry, and her daughter’s fame as an actress and singer to skyrocket. Her timing was impeccable. It you are going to die..pick the perfect time to make sure you’re immortalized by your peers.

I wish I could say I was sad about this, but I was never a big fan. While everyone can admire, how much she had to practice to reach the perfections of her own voice, she had the best to learn from. Dionne Warwick was her aunt. Aretha Franklin was her Godmother. If you can’t learn from those two women, you might as well hang it up.

Whitney made a lot of people a lot of money. And millions of us small-town musicians had to try and imitate her..which was no small task. While I have many of her hits and albums, I never bothered to listen to them…I had to ‘sing’ them, so to me it was torture.

I still prefer Dolly Parton’s “I will always love you” to Whitney’s. I cry when I hear Dolly. I…simply study Whitney vocal abilities, but she never evokes any emotion for me. That’s just me. To millions of fans, Whitney was the “GOD” of voice until..

Mariah Carey. It’s must have been a hard blow. There was no way that Whitney could compete with Mariah. She was pushed off her throne by a more competent and God given vocal cord that could amaze everyone.

And Mariah played sexy. It sold.

It wasn’t much after the success of Mariah that Whitney got into Bobby Brown, and became the cocaine Diva. Still the Diva, she told Oprah that Bobby and her laced grass with cocaine, they NEVER did crack. That was beneath her. (Do we laugh here? )

And so..Why should I feel bad about someone like that? How could she do that to her daughter?

Many of us nobodies can’t for the life of us figure out how all these very rich and famous people kill themselves with drugs. Whitney lost her voice doing all those drugs, the once most beautiful voice in the world, was being laughed at. It was downhill for her..and only a matter of time.

Which brings me to Sarah Palin (wait…it’s not what you think.)

I found this picture of her going WTF? She was the favorite at the C-Pac convention. And her expression here is just how I feel about Tony Bennett’s statement. (I love this picture)

Upon hearing about Whitney’s death, Tony Bennett said this:

“First it was Michael Jackson, then Amy Winehouse, now, the magnificent Whitney Houston,” he is quoted as saying in the Hollywood Reporter. “I’d like every person in this room to campaign to legalize drugs.”

“Let’s legalize drugs like they did in Amsterdam,” said Bennett, who battled drug addiction in the late 70s.”No one’s hiding or sneaking around corners to get it. They go to a doctor to get it.”

Right Tony. Let’s legalize all those drugs so that all the doctors can assure us all that all the diva’s and idiotic addicts WON”T kill themselves.

WTF?

Instead of using this as a lesson to our kids to NOT use drugs because obviously they can kill you…we get—

LET”S LEGALIZE DRUGS!

Nobody Thinks that Tony will use this opportunity to push the political agenda to get drugs legalized in the United States because only a drugged nation will sit idly by and let Obama’s plans to further destroy America.  What’s Tony getting to push George Soros’s agenda, one conspiracy theorist might ask?

If we go by history, when Obama decides to cancel the elections, Angelina Jolie will die of a drug overdose. Brad Pitt will be left with all those kids. And it will happen right before the Oscars. And if THAT happens, then I think it’s safe to say, there’s more to this than, WTF. The new phrase will be OMGWAS!

(Oh My God, We Are Screwed!)

WTF Whitney..really.

 

Nobody’s Perfect: Charlie Sheen VS The Oscars

Nobody’s Perfect: This week, we have a contest that isn’t even close, at least in my mind. Charlie the “Adonis DNA” Sheen, VS The Oscars.

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Let’s start with the Oscars: Everyone was complaining about what a bomb it was, but really…considering the list of movies, I’d say they did a lot with nothing—which is pretty much what Hollywood is all about. Putting up pictures of “Gone With the Wind” was a BIG mistake. Let’s compare the movie of the year 2011, “The Kings’ Speech” to Gone with the Wind.
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Right. Let’s all remember just how far we have come!

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The highlights of the show was the short flick at the beginning, but it went downhill from there. We will all remember the dresses, the lame jokes, the standing ovation to Billy Crystal (remember, these people have no class) and Billy Crystal telling everyone how Bob Hope gave him the finger.

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My respect for Bob Hope just skyrocketed.

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Red dirty-looking hair was in: cussing…still in: men dressing up in drag..still in: and tasteless songs about Australians not dancing..still tasteless: and my very favorite memory was when Christian Bale forgot his wife’s name.  He finally gets his due, and then forgets his wife. Drudge had it up, then took it down- fast.

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Nobody Remembers the good old days, when Johnny Carson actually had GOOD writers. I really suspect the writing has been outsourced to India. They should have just ask the audience to tweet them some jokes.  We would have gladly waited.

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But that was nothing compared to the ongoing imperfections of Charlie Sheen.

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Have you ever seen such a supreme example of egomania outside of Washington D.C.?
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Charlie Sheen has done more porn stars than Hugh Hefner if he had lived twenty lifetimes.

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Charlie’s act isn’t new. Hollywood is filled with these people, but Charlie is the king. He is a drug addicted, sex addicted, bloviated, human excrement bag of walking frisky powder, who is right now, in pain (from addiction withdrawals) and screaming bloody murder because a drug addict’s life is expensive, and he just got cut off. He might be “dry” for all of a month, but don’t expect it to last. He’s addicted to porn, drugs, and himself, not necessarily in that order.

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So what does he do? Like most megalomaniacs, when they are caught red- handed doing something really bad, he goes on the offense. He puts the ball back in the people he abused court. According to Charlie, his life is his own, and they have no right to fire him. From their point of view, when you almost die of an overdose, the bosses have to reconsider, don’t they?

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Charlie now wants $3 million an episode.

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I once turned on his show for a few minutes..and frankly, the local drunk on the corner would be more appealing. But that’s it. I don’t’ watch it because I don’t think he is a talented as his dad, and…he’s boring. But, somebody is watching it, and so what? Somebody is watching Human Target too, and good thing you are not in that time slot, Charlie.

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Charlie talks about “violent love” and “passion” and then when asked how much crack he used to take in one go Sheen said: ‘I was banging 7 gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll.”
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Yeah, he rolls all right— pornagraphic cocaine marbles are clunking in his head, and by the looks of him, even when he sleeps.

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He is telling America that they were trying to kill his family because they were taking away his salary, but when they asked why he spends so much money on cars and houses he said: ‘Blame the studio for giving me this much dough when they knew who they were giving it to. This is on them’.
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At least he didn’t blame it on Bush.

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But, here’s what I really think. Charlie was fired for going on Alex Jones’ radio program. Alex Jones believes 9/11 was more involved than the official story, and so does Charlie Sheen.
That’s what put him on the “out” list in Hollywood..not his porn, his drugs, his ego,..but…his politics.

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That’s my Nobody’s Opinion.

 

So, Charlie–take a lesson from that other famous x-drug addict, Robert Downy Jr., who actually said some funny things at the Oscars, making fun of himself AS an ex-druggie. Or call up Hugh and offer him your services. Better hurry…the Oscar for porn king will be up for grabs soon! That’s a part your Adonis DNA is fit to die for…