Catholics

Witch Burning Was BIG Business of the 14th Century

Nobody Remembers

Hold on…Before I write this: Let me say that my intention is not to offend any Catholics out there, but I wanted to report that I found out a few MORE things about the Catholic Church, which surprised even me…Witch burning, back in the fourteenth century, was big business.Witch burning

It was a very lucrative way to make money.

I didn’t know that, did you? (Always follow the money.)

(NOTE: Protestants believed in witches too, but did not have the witch execution record of the Catholic church. LET ME BE CLEAR: No one institution, person, or religion, has any kind of perfect record.)

In 1484, Pope Innocent VIII declared:

“It has come to Our ears that members of both sexes do not avoid to have intercourse with evil angels, incubi, and succubi, and that by their sorceries, and by their incantations, charms, and conjurations, they suffocate, extinguish, and cause to perish the births of women.”

And so began the torture and execution of women all over Europe.

The Pope was so intent on wiping out witches, he appointed two guys, Kramer and Spreger to write the Malleus Maleficarum. or as it was commonly known…the Hammer of Witches. It’s suppose to be one of the most atrocious books ever written as it explained how to torture, and murder.

(Not sure I want to read it.)Mallevs 2

All it took was somebody to accuse you of witchcraft, and you were a witch. But here’s something that they didn’t teach you in school about the inquisition:

It became a great way to make money.

“It quickly became an expense account scam. All cost of investigation, trail, and execution were borne by the accused or her relatives down to per diems for the private detectives hired to spy on her, wine for her guards, banquets for her judges, the travel expenses of a messenger sent to a more experienced torturer from another city, and the faggots, tar and hangman’s rope. Then there was a bonus to the members of the tribunal for each witch burned. The convicted witch’s remaining property, if any, was divided between Church and State. As this legally and morally sanctioned mass murder and theft became institutionalized, as a vast bureaucracy arose to serve it, attention was turned from poor hags and crones to the middle class and well- to- do of both sexes. ” The Demon Haunted World, Carl Sagan.

And the witches were made to turn in other witches. In England, which finders called “prickers” were paid a bounty for each girl they turned in for execution. One guy turned in 220 women in England and Scotland, for twenty shillings apiece.

Here in America, we had our own Salem Witch trial, of which my cousin Donna (the genealogist in the family) said one of our men ancestors was one of the men accused at Salem. (She loves to do all that research) Witch burning burning witches

But they let him off.  I never bothered to ask her his name, but he must have been a smooth talker.

The good news is the Catholic church got out of witch hunting. Nobody knows how many innocent people were killed, but it’s probably in the millions.

Now we have symbolic witch hunts. The last ‘witch’ hunt I remember was the McCarthy era, where he was accused of witch-hunting communists…

There seems to be a witch hunt for tea party people.  Good thing there’s no money to be made in it, or I would end up like my ancestors in Salem.

They don’t burn you at the stake anymore, but liberals do torture…every day.Pope Innocent

And some of them, claim to be very good Catholics.

The whole point is, all it took was one Pope to tell people to go get ‘witches.” and that’s what happens when you give ONE man too much power.

So…listen up Bill Gates. (Bill recently said he wished Obama had more power)

Obama doesn’t need anymore power.   One Pope Innocent was enough.

 

 

 

Categories: British, Catholic Church, Catholics, communism, Witch Hunt | Tags: , , , | 5 Comments

Nobody’s Perfect: Pope Benedict XVI VS The Miami Marlins

Nobody’s Perfect

What happening? Everybody is upset about that lovable but very old Pope Benedict XVI retiring. Frankly, being the Pope should be like any other job, and since he is the leader of his own nation-state, it’s only fitting that someone who’s brain isn’t functioning should NOT be in the drivers’ seat..really. Pope resigns

This notion that leaders of great institutions (take our Congress for instance) should stay in their jobs while dementia or strokes racks their brains, and all the top decision that come out of those brains must be adhered too—- is absurd.

Wait…Hillary just had a stroke…should she be allowed to run for President? Shouldn’t she retire for good?

Of course she should, but she won’t, because you see…Pope Benedict’s brain is still functioning–we’re not sure we can say that about Hillary.

Here’s what the Pope said:

In today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to govern the bark of St. Peter and proclaim the gospel, both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me.”

The Pope is not God, nor a Pharaoh…so what is the big deal?

This…is a daddy issue. People have been living without daddies for much too long. For instance, Chris Rock says Obama is our Daddy. All the Cardinals were on TV crying and saying he was like their Father.

Daddy Pope. (sigh)

So, who’s going to be the new pawn? A South American Pope? Since the news is talking about a black man from Africa, odds are…that’s just who the “elites’ want for the next decade since it seems the wars are going to Africa now and out of the Middle East, a black Pope would give them some clout with the black Muslims. Or a Spanish-speaking Pope to help with the upcoming amnesty?

Nobody Wonders.

Pope’s are not perfect: Really. How heavy is that silly hat? Poor guy..Frankly, I thought he has been out of his mind the second year of his popeful reign…when he started talking about aliens….

And then you have the Miami Marlins, whose fan base consists of four people standing in line to get tickets to the Miami Marlins Winter warm up FANFARE event. Evidently, they ate before they came to the park.  Marlins line

So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week?

The Marlins win!  To have a baseball franchise, where 74 players are paid millions in salaries, (in a brand new tax-funded stadium) and they can only get four people interested in showing up to watch them play….I’d say the perfection card for the Miami Marlins is sitting somewhere in purgatory.

If the Pope can retire with dignity, maybe the Miami Marlins should too. I say we all say a good Catholic prayer for those poor workers at the concession stand. They are going to need divine intervention…maybe we should write the Pope and he can give them his blessing before he retires..

Marlines line 2Go ahead. You write him. I’m not a Catholic.

 

 

Categories: baseball, Catholics, humor | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

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