This week’s contest is between two very beautiful contestants: Ms Iowa and Lady Gaga.
First: Ms Iowa said that in her opinion, Marijuana should not be used for anything BUT recreational use and health care.
What she failed to note, is exactly what else is it used for? What don’t we know? This could be serious.
Does she think it should be banned as a fuel alternative? How about rope? Maybe she would not approve of using a joint for sexual pleasure, as Bill Clinton might have suggested. What does she mean? Whatever she meant, she just admitted that she is a fond toker, and knows someone who uses it to get away from some kind of unbearable pain. In that case, it goes to reason, that person lives in New York, since Mayor Bloomberg is limiting pain pills in all the emergency rooms. If Ms Iowa would have suggested that the use of medical marijuana as a pain reliever in the New York City hospitals, she might have won the title. Also, when people are stoned, they are less likely to pull out assault weapons. Mayor Bloomberg can just suggest when any New Yorker gets angry, they could go and sit in the nearest emergency room and mellow out.
Free pizza, could then be served. In fact, Chicago is thinking of implementing this as a way to get the guns off the streets. But MS Iowa lost to MS New York, who gave the right answer….education is the way to get rid of murders. Too bad.
Second: Then there’s Lady Gaga. It seems, since we’ve had two recent mass shootings last year, and walking around with machine guns on your breast, is not going over well with the liberal crowds. Personally, I think Lady Gaga is simply auditioning for a cameo in the next Tarantino movie, where she can then put cannons on her butt.
So,—Who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the Week?
Her speech at the Golden Globe Awards was so full of…boration that she easily beat out MS Iowa (who was obviously nervous and just goofed) and Lady Gaga (who would wear The Sears Tower as a leg warmer if it wasn’t bolted down)…on sheer nerve for delivering the worst speech ever given at an awards show in the history of awards shows.
So congratulations to Jodie Foster! We now know, you really DID attend Harvard. You weren’t kidding.